Shifting gears of Life.

Shifting gears of life.

Some people may remember years ago the ole three on the tree in some rides we had. Those from the younger crowd see the attached picture for some clarification. It made for some puzzled looks by some peeps. For those who may struggle today with the extra pedal there were few automatic cars back in the day. Now if one shifting lever is starring at you and you’re a bit intimidated there's more. The ole brownie 4 over 4 with the double shifter as if three to four gear's isn't enough to keep ya busy add another eight to ten or so. My uncle had some very serious patience in trying to teaching me to drive a big truck with the double shifter. They say too if you can't find them, grind em. Thankfully most of my kids have learned the extra pedal skill. There have been some humorous articles on the news about some youngsters making an attempt or two at car theft and jacking with no skills in operation of extra pedals. They didn’t get far or very fast. Yeppers a few skills not taught with the Xbox.

So what does this have to do with life? We shift gears in the phases of life. Good thing we start out young or we wouldn't do so well. As kids we have few cares and fears. We pick up those as we get along in our life. We do the school thing for us and our kids for so many years that we aren't sure if it will ever end. Then we shift in too high for what we think is the finish from it and realize we are just getting started. Then we shift to the grand kids with school. We send kids in to the military and on church missions. We move and move again and again. Our kids marry and sometimes people we know marry again. Things happen to us good and sometimes not good. We go fast and slow, yes and even have to back up now and again. We start over and make the best of things. We even try to relax when things get in high gear. We try to laugh when the things we are trying seem to be in the wrong gear. The old hiccups in the road.

So we are changing gears again each day. These past few months has been a race to say the least but an exciting opportunity for more adventure and growth. Purchasing a new place and remodeling it. Finding more in a wall than you expect to deal with but knowing it will somehow work its way out. Hosting a party of a family reunion. And being stunned as our son announcing via social media he is seriously dating someone. It is a good thing I might add and yes they're now making wedding plans. Road tripp'n with my best gal friend and playing with grand kids is a new shift too but rather fun. I would say that we change our plans often as things come up and we learn how to drive more complicated vehicles in our lives. Best is we learn how to cope, adjust, shift gears, and move on. The health hiccups and bumps we find as we live life. Yeppers even having teeth that treat us to an out pouring of anger. Had one of them just recently. Those times you look forward to the family time that is sometimes what keeps us grounded and steady in our pace. Hikes with high gear and for those of you so inclined, when ya have to “Lock in the hubs”. Many of those trips ya pay for it after wards for a good many days but ya would not miss the chance to go and would do it again even if they (the young peeps) had to bury you along the trail. Those slow gear moments spent eating breakfast watching the wild critters roaming freely in the back yard and knowing life is so cool. Rocking in a chair with your little buddie (grandson) as he sleeps quietly in your arms. A good wife and favorite gal friend that no matter how things are going is on your side of the tractor pull we see as life.

Strangely our world and many of the people who are in it have a different though on life. Some people get caught in one gear and can't seem to change speed or direction. 

Things I've learned about us.....

Things I’ve learned about us.

She is the gold and string that keeps me grounded and moving in a positive direction. After the past few weeks of house hunting and road tripping you spend some time together. In the years together I have learned some things about me but I have also learned a lot about how I need a great gal by me.

I will note some of the things that I have learned that could be of some help to others as they mesh together a marriage of two people that have lots in common and many things that are not. Remember first you’re in this a partner with you, your spouse, and God. It’s the being in partnership that we get hung up on when we do the “I” thinking. With that in mind pray together. It may not be so much that you have to be over the top super religious but praying is a pretty universal thing for most people of faith in the world. So however you may choose to be with it pray together, pray for each other, and pray that you can work together for a greater good. I pray that she will understand I’m kind of an idiot and need all the help she can give to me to be better.

I will say some of the things that may have been some of the greatest helps for us have been reading books, articles, and other things together. We took classes. And all the while took time to talk and be sure we were on the same page. Never get caught up in the thinking that you know everything because life will most certainly give you another learning of its own.

Some of the classes that we took together were-love and logic parenting, The church marriage and family class, and foster parenting. There are many out there and the only wrong class is the one you don’t plan to ever take. I have read a few books in my day and some of them have been with my great wife. I will only list the ones that set some of the best understanding for us. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, five love languages, between husband and wife, the act of marriage, and what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know. There are lots of fabulous books out there that have some great information but they are only as good as you read them and try to use the things that are offered. Some of the good things can help all around in every relationship you have.

She may have an interest in swimming and playing basketball. You may like football and golf. It’s a good thing to be different but you have to find things you both can do together. You both don’t have to be good at the things you do together and it is not something that you stack up as a competition with each other either. It needs to be fun and something to be with each other to have a connection. With this in mind take an interest in each other’s interests too, to the point of sharing enough to be present. If your spouse plays a sport, go and support them in it. This goes for most every worthwhile thing we do with our families. Some of the best memories we have together are the activities we are not good at. We have done many crazy things that have helped us to connect with each other on a greater level. If it takes some stretching to be open to your significant others interests, you may have to super charge some of your relationship to help it grow.

So we all wish in some crazy way that others should just get it and mind read etc. I like most people in the world need really good hints when it comes to figuring things out. With that also comes that issue with your so in trouble and not coming right out with the why and expecting someone to just guess and somehow get it right. If the creator of us all wanted us to know everything and yes read minds and between the lines he would have. I am sure he does get a good laugh now and then at the entertainment in us wishing so. Some hints maybe kind of fun but don’t drag it around in a cloud of darkness. Should there be some hints given always be open to the idea they may not get it and of course be polite about it. Being polite and respectful to others and most definitely your spouse changes situations and people.

I will put it out there be grateful. Showing gratitude even when you’re not happy the clothing coming out of the washer or dryer are messed up or ruined. Yes, I will say it I have ruined clothing a lot. Surprising as it may seem she could very well have used the heavy marble rolling pin on me many a time. If your spouse fixes you meal, does the dishes, mows the lawn, etc., etc. make an effort to show gratitude. If by chance it is not perfect or could use some helping I refer your mind back to the last thought on showing respect and being polite. There are however times it is better to be nice than right. Most if not all people I know are more willing to help if they feel appreciated for their efforts. Even if your spouse is not the type that constantly thrives on “words of affirmation”, give them any how.

I heard it said once that PDA’s you constantly show with your spouse can be a direct reflection on your connection with each other. Someone may think it is a bit off but you would have a very hard time being mad or upset with someone at the same time you hold their hand. One of the best ways to show your kids that you are crazy about each other is for them to see you express that in front of them. On top of that let them hear you tell your spouse you love them. Even pass that on to the grandkids. It will add a strong bond that ties you close to each other and may very well bond more intimately as well. When you’re on the same page life means much more to both and it strengthens key elements of your relationship. Communicate what is needed and expected. If ya have to buy an extra sized love seat to sit next to each other it is money well spent. Spend time with each other away from distractions and yes the kids too. Sometimes ya just need a break with each other. I love my kids but when they leave home I need to know my wife and I will be ok with each other too. Set it as God, Spouse, then family and you will be best.

Always be open to change! If things annoy you or your spouse talk about how and what matters most and why changing it is maybe a good idea. Do not go about change for the wrong reasons but not changing can hurt things between you too. I had some things I have worked on for many years to change some I have others well I keep trying. Back to the communication thing there. Picking up the cloths from the floor may seem like a not so big thing to one person but it can be like the house is on fire to someone else. The willingness to change and trying to change is key. With that be willing to recognize when someone is trying to change and be encouraging too. Let things go also. If a mistake is made “Let it go!” Digging up things of the past sets us back. Again “Let it go!” if you’re not happy about something then by all means fix it. If you can’t put that issue to rest and bury it.

Last point I think is important is apologies. Saying your sorry is a start but not doing things again is key. An old and I mean old friend told me a long time ago. You can’t cover the scar but you can make sure not to give another. May seem simple but it is a not so thought of thing these days.

I’ve learn many a thing or two but I know the thing I know most is I have to constantly do better. In the words of Red Green “If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.” I may not always be the best looker on the street but I will always do what I can to be handy and ensure my spouse is not unhappy with life. Yes, I understand I have a super large mountain still to climb but holy cow the foot hills are behind us now.

Adventures with rod and reel.

Adventures with rod and reel.

My Uncle was a man of fun hobbies and adventures from building up a Jeep from a crate to luring fish. For many years he didn't have someone on the short side to follow him around of his own so I readily volunteered. To this day I only recall him getting on me about something a two or three times. Once for a cast with a hook grazing him and then later in my days for some not so good of thinking with a life choice. That Jeep took us to some remotely situated holes with the likes of which people take ya blind folded and threaten your next of kin if the secret ever leaves your mouth. My uncle was the type to sneak up on those fish that they didn't see it coming and warn the rest of them. Those fish feared his name. One of those days we happened to be at a spot we called the glory hole. We hadn't been there long and were saving those fish from drowning left and right when all of a sudden there is some serious crashing in the trees and brush near us. The hair stood straight up on my already buzz cut head and I look around trying to see if I was about to be done fishin for life. Then I see it. A badger! Between me and the Jeep now where to go. Almost fell in the good ole glory hole. One wild experience too say the least. Not every trip was as wild with the uncle but good times just the same. I can't recall if I caught my first fish on trips with the uncle but my biggest string full sure was and yeppers it happened at the glory hole. Made many a trip to the glory hole and other goodies along Caulk Creek, corn creek, maple Creek to name a few but the best ones will forever remain a secret between a boy and his uncle.

I have fished many a lake and stream in my many of days. The only time I ventured a fishing trip on a Sunday I found some bad luck. New Shakespeare pole and reel and thinking this was my day to hook the big one. I went early to one of those secret spots and thinking I could get the limit quickly and of course a nap. After a few good casts I get a fine hit to the line set me some hook. Then would ya know my foot had the crazy notion to slide backwards on slippery bottom of a cheap rental tinny boat. Try to save grace and pride I grabbed for the side of the boat and let go of the pole. Scrambling frantically all I could get was a fist full of Moss and water as I see the pole make haste and leave me. I can honestly say to this day even when I wasn't doing the best in life with something's I never fished among other things ever again on a Sunday.

I spent many a trip with a brother in law also. I remember one trip in particular as it was the first time I had gone ice fishing. Early morning, we went to Strawberry where fishing was said to be happening. We punched some holes and did our best to stay warm.  The first fish I hooked as it neared the hole looked too big to come through the small hole. Wow! We were pulling in fish about as fast as we could bait the lines and sink them. About forty minutes later we had the limit and a fine keep. Rather than being cold any longer we headed for a nice grill in Heber for some breakfast. As much as I like to catch fish and save them from drowning, I love me some bacon and eggs too. I'm not much for eating fish so those that know me well know that if you on a trip with me you may well end up with my stringer also.

In the dozen plus years being around various groups of teenagers I have seen some crazy and astounding things fishing. From scouts to foreign exchange students you see it all. Kids catching bushes, fingers, Moss, boat seats, and some of the friends. Yes, and some of the best fishermen and gals. Some of the most fun was finding some that fit the joking of swallowing a story hook, line, and sinker. It always added to the fun of the trip.

Two things that go together are naps and angling. But time spent with family and friends is the most important things. Many of my kids enjoy angling and some even like to eat fish. Lots of great memories with kids and my wife. Fishing with a small boy that graced our family for a time with some special needs was of course a very unique experience but a very special memory too. I look forward to building the same memories with the next generation of anglers in the family now that there are grand kids to have fun with also.

A lot of well-known people enjoyed and still enjoy fishing in its many forms like George Washington, Herbert Hoover, Kevin Costner, and Jack Nicklaus to name a few. But with that said none of those compares to my awesome angling Uncle. But there are a few that may surprise you now and then like Thomas Monson. So if you’re going to set the bar I put my Uncle up there with Pres Monson, and Peter of old, and yes the greatest Fisher of men the Savior. Besides being able to catch fish it is a good thing to catch the souls of men from drowning also.

Sleep deprived and other interesting peeps.

Sleep deprived and other interesting peeps.

Having been a bit in need of sleep countless times in my life, I can see how crazy people can act at times in life. I add to that the sometimes effect of too large a dose of some commonly used allergy remedies. Knowing me to be at a time early in my life missing a few of my digits and being something rarely brought up in most conversations. Normally things said at late night or very early morning hours would be forgotten by most but I challenged a promise that it could very well find its way blogged. Of course I will in my own way tell about the event with some added coloring of embellishment.

During a late night at my in-laws around Christmas, the slightly older bunch were engaged in playing games. A sister in law having come in contact with something that her body deems bad, and thus partook of Benadryl. The comment was made that surely someone must be holding out on the playing of game pieces. I piped up let me see. Not playing the game myself I figured it to be safe. Nope! The sleep deprived and Benadryl impaired sister in law snaps out "don't touch it or you'll lose another finger". Shock filled the room and the shock was extremely viewed on her face. It was kind of sure embarrassment and she was red in the face. She apologized quickly for the rash outburst. To break the thickness of tension I joke of it and gave a laugh. It's all good with me because I know the feeling of sleep deprivation and the combined effects of your average allergy remedies.

Lesson of the story be as we often say things that cause us resentment in moments of anger, delirium, and pain. Remember we are human and we are striving for some day to find some degree of perfection in our lives. Asking for forgiveness for these moments is key. So forgive me for in some way using you (my sister in law) for this posting but it may be of use to some soul someday also. Be careful also as to the things you think someone may have said that are not meant as we take them. Never assume that it was meant as a dagger aimed to stab us and cause pain. Often if we want to be offended we look for things to claim. Always give the benefit of doubt and know that we don't have a full story to go on. Good to pray for understanding and let God. God loves us in spite of our character flaws, lack of sleep, lack of understanding, and times of failure. May we ever be blessed to be more understanding and forgiving of others.

Brown paper bags.

Brown paper bags.

I have been accused of being on one side or the other of the political debate but be it known that I side with none of them. Truth be told I consider politicians to all be in somewhat the same kind of packaging in one way or another. That is right call them what they are bags. Whether it is carpet bags, dirt bags, scum bags, brown bags, douche bags, free bags, dirty laundry bags, trash bags, flea bags, etc. I am kind of like one of those ancient Greeks that liked a show of fight to the finish in the old colosseums. I would of course prefer that none of them win or come out of it alive and it be a total elimination of the participants. Some would want to argue the point of this side is the best or this is the worst and to that I do not debate because they are all politicians. Some of histories finest leaders did so not for gain but to help the true cause of man and the need to be free. Be it as it is we do have possibly a few that start out to be on the right side of freedom but somewhere along the way find power and it grabs them and their egos and drops them in to dark thinking. Yes, there be few who try even at that to always do the right thing but remain the ever increasing few.

Be it to some that voting is of useless nature and that it doesn’t change the course of things I say not true. It is when good men do nothing that evil prospers. As told a few years ago a good religious leader was said to of told a friend that said he wasn’t going to vote. The friend said why vote for the lesser of two evils, because it is still evil. The good leader said vote for the best choice you can see and let God work his hand in making what he can. By not voting we thus allow the greater of evil to rein instead. Being a now constitutional right not seen in many days of past, vote.

 Although many claim that most religious organizations force their hand in the political arena, people still have their agency to vote accordingly. Many still forget that this country was founded on the basic freedoms we have driven by the desire for religious freedom. Don’t ever think for a minute that the drafters of the constitution believed that God did not have a part in their work. In a time when we as a people forget and throw out The Bill of Rights, The Constitution, and The Declaration of Independence and think that we can easily return to being free without the help from Devine intervention in any amount. The thought of repeating history when we either don’t know it or fail to understand it is a fact of the down fall of nations of greatness. We should in no way under estimate the powers of evil and to hold it can have on the hearts of men. Rome wasn’t built in a day but it fell within only just few days.

Remember that to denounce war is saintly but to shun those that stand for us should it be placed upon us is a disgraceful act. During the revolutionary war of the United States of America there were many that protested fighting from leaving the allegiance for the king of England. Many of them suffered at the hands of both sides and they were often considered deserters where ever they were by both sides. Many good people I know serve or have served in the armed forces. I thank you greatly and yes they are under paid and under appreciated by far.

 While I am here I will put it out there also that most if not all law enforcement get a bad rap from a few that choose to not act in a proper fashion with their jobs. For the most part all of them try to do the right thing and be as good as they can possibly be under the circumstances they face day in and day out. There are many that are close friends of mine. There are some people who would like you to believe they are singled out, but all lives matter to someone whether it is a parent, child, spouse, uncle, aunt, grand parent, grand child, or friend. We hope that each day they are safe from those with not so good of intent. There are many unsung heroes of every day to add to this like Fire fighters, nurses, etc.

Remembering the past should if anything helps us to not throw away our future. Stand for freedom and right but stand for a just cause. As Moroni of old said “In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and peace, our wives, and our children (Alma 46:12).

May we always cherish our freedom and work to stay free!

Hang'n with a one-year-old.

Hang'n with a one-year-old.

Challenging to some and not for others. Most toddlers have in their fuel tank enough energy at least twenty times of that of most adults. For a few of us it would be more like fifty times more energy. Hanging out with a grandson full of energy can of course be a challenge in keeping up with him but a blessing in keeping my mind in constant thinking mode of how to stay a step ahead of him. He has the built and mannerisms of a bit older and larger version with a Nick name of the bull Dozer. Yeppers if it crashes, bangs, beeps, or makes a big sound he likes it. A can with small tiles is more exciting to him then the contents with in. Whether he is eating a sandwich or pulling the longer whiskers on my face I relish the energy he has. One super proud papa that gets the opportunity to play, attend, watch, and hug him.

On some day in the near future we will of course have to write about the sister with the attitude. But for now it will be another day. They say hanging with your grandkids helps ward off dementia. If that proves true I should be sharp as a tac, unless dealing with our children has damaged my mind in other ways.

Bully and a rope.

A bully and a strong rope!

It is a rare thing when you get to assist Karma with her job but sometimes it does happen. For many years there was this troublesome soul that did his best to torment others and he left a few marks on me and a few rope playing jokers that I hung around with. He touted us often about being wimps and of course pansies. Being the tuff pansies (pansies are hardy flowers) that we were we dreamed up an ingenious plan to set him up with a scare of a life time. We took him along on a trip to our favorite rock location near Buckskin Charley picnic area. Nice big rock with a drop on to a picnic table and fire pit. We figured we had enough rope to for sure tie the end off at the bottom to the table when the time was right. The table was one of those monster forest camp tables made with deeds of this sort in mind. Made of heavy lumber and large blocks of concrete poured in place so they wouldn't grow legs and walk away. We figured a few times down the rope and he would not suspect a thing. We rappelled for an hour or two getting the bait lured in to the trap. Then we used the key words to start the big set up. Getting hungry for the drive in was brought up and then the victim was in the trap. About half way down the cliff we pulled the rope super hard and tight and made use of the perfect location of the picnic table by tying the rope off to it. By this time the bully knew he was in a rather pinnacle of a spot with no way up or down. We proceeded to ruff up the bully as he hissed threats and call us things as we readied things to go get a burger and return later from town.

 He reminded me of a cat hung up in a tree high on a branch to scared to fall or climb back down, arms and legs clinging to the rope. We went to the truck and made noises like we were getting in and leaving. We had been planning a great hiding spot to watch the fun and listen to him panic. The bully hung for a spell and started to plead that we would just please let him down. After a while we decided to give in and let him down but that he would promise everything to never bother us or anyone else ever again. By the time the school year started he had moved away and we hoped he wouldn't return any time soon.

Since then I have come to understand the things that drive some people to act out as a bully. Yes I would say it was a far too extreme away to deal with a problem. There may well be some better ways with less hazardous possibilities for disaster. Think for a bit about how we treat others or have. How do we go about fixing things we may have done to someone or others that we feel bad about. Yeppers I made good with this one but I have lots more to fix up, I'm sure. Some advice for the bullies of the world beware of peeps with long and strong ropes. Add to that peeps that geocache. Those are people that have the potential to assist Karma in some way or another. Please don't try this method of bully enlightening it could be hazardous in some way or another. I don't recommend fighting a bully but if it happens to you stand your ground or maybe run. If you’re that bully that goes to start something make sure you’re prepared to change your shorts things could get messy.