Fire And Ice!

Fire and ice

A number of years ago, some of my family and I spent some time working for a residential treatment center. I happened to work as their recreation and sports director. We came to know the person working as the secretary and my wife and I became friends with her and her family. The owner of the facility was known to be kind of a bully more often than not. I rarely saw any one set him in his place but nearing the end of the whole ta-do with us there, she (Secretary) gave him a whooping of words.

Over the years, the adventures have continued. Runs to the mountain getting fire wood to hiking. We had the opportunity to foster a boy with special needs because of her influence. That was a special time in our lives that we will never forget. A lot of growing for our family as well.

We all have our fears. She was with us once as we visited a promenade recreation spot in southern Utah. After hiking for some time there, we decided to tackle some of the shear crags with a rope or three. Rappelling is an empowering adventure that is great for concurring fear and placing trust in someone else. I learned a new expression or two also, “Brown” and “Good times”. She has a lot of quick wit snap backs that would catch a not so ready person to do battle you would be beaten down faster than a dollar store camp chair.

Mind you not everyone expects a to get blown away by small size packages but that is where ya get some “Fire and Ice”. Powerful stuff in fire and ice. All is good unless you happen to be like some crap stick of wood and stir up things ya shouldn’t. But keep in mind that most fiery people also have a heart of gold and that is why they draw people too them. If by chance you are one of those crap stick peeps, may heaven help you cause you’re on your own. Hopefully you can run fast if not as my friend would say “Sucks to be you!” Fire has a power to create its own weather and still make ashes of things. But with that in mind it has the power to warm body, and soul. When water freezes in hard places like rocks, the rocks break and scar. Cold and full of power to change things. Both fire and ice change and shape the world around us. But even when we change we need to be our selves. Be yourself, an original is worth more than a copy.

Many years have come and gone since we all came to know each other and a lot has changed but the friendship is all good. We are all miles apart but that is how life happens. Kind of reminds me about a song back a few years with words like this.

 “Just yesterday mornin', they let me know you were gone
Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song
I just can't remember who to send it to
I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again
Won't you look down upon me, Jesus
You've got to help me make a stand
You've just got to see me through another day
My body's aching and my time is at hand
I won't make it any other way
I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again
Been walking…

Friendships last when we understand that we have to dwell on the things we have in common and that we cross paths for a reason. Treat people with kindness and respect. My friends know who they are.

Of what can I give.

~Of what can I give.~

This and some other times of the year we often ask of ourselves what we can give to others. We try many times to spend a lot to give gifts that have a large amount of value either to the world standard or that the receiver will value our gift. Most of the time we overlook the best of gifts that are so simple but some of the hardest to give. Simply put the most valuable gifts are the ones without a monetary value that can be placed upon them. I will list a few and outline what I see as the important part of them.

Gift of- Forgiveness.

One of the hardest to pull off on every level. One of the best ways to fix lives and families. Relationships with others can be some of the most important things we have. If there are things awry with people find a way to either, make things right or take steps to change the course of the conflict. This and many gifts like it cannot in no wise be valued as its value is of the heart. We often hope that conflicts, friction, and ill feelings go away on their own. “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you”. Ephesians 4:32 “We made a list of all the persons we may have harmed and where possible without causing more harm to make amends”- step 8 of 12.

Gift of- Gratitude.

Not every situation we have in life is perfect and the best but we can find some part of it to be grateful for. So, we may not have the finest car, the biggest house, the perfect head of hair, or even the latest and greatest phone but we probably have at least three persons that love us. If you’re like any one you have struggles and things that trip us up with life. Yet what we have is often things that some in the world are praying for in one way or another. Thank others that serve us but most especially thank God for where we are and the good in our lives. “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful”. -Colossians 3:15

Gift of- Repentance.

We all have things that hold us back for the best of life. Sometimes we hold on to things to the point of not just holding us back but our family and friends as well. Sometimes we are convinced that it is only our problem but fail to see the small print that effects those people in our live that we may love and respect. If there is something that maybe we have done or been a part of removing it from our backs can set us free to enjoy a closer bond with those around us. I think of it as a gift because of that freedom of mind and soul. “But as oft as they repented and sought forgiveness, with real intent, they were forgiven”. - Moroni 6:8

Gift of- Acceptance.

Be accepting of those around us. We may not always agree with the way someone lives, feels, or believes but we can be accepting of them just the same. We can be nice about it also. We are however we look at it Children of a loving God that would very much be happy if we could find the things we have in common and use that common ground to be empathetic to others. Even when others have done things that may not be right with laws of the land or God we can still accept them as a daughter or son of God.  ” I think we should all be tolerant of each other and embrace each other’s' strengths and differences and uniqueness and beauty”. -Martina McBride

Gift of- Kindness

We can never tell what is happening with other people that we meet or associate with each day. Some are struggling with things in their life, some may well be struggling to like themselves, and they may well be dealing with stuff the best they know how. Give them the gift of understanding and kindness. “Be kind. Be grateful that God is kind.” -Jeffery R. Holland

Gift of- Service.

Doing things for others whether or not they could do it for themselves is a gift that changes both the giver and the recipient. Some of the greatest of leaders were great because they could lead but also served the people they were leading. What may seem to be small to the giver can mean the world to others. It may not always be convenient be those are the times that we can grow from the experience. "Service doesn't have to be big and grandiose to be meaningful and make a difference." -Cheryl A. Esplin “Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others. By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” -Gordon B. Hinckley

Gift of- Time.

Time is the same for everyone and we are all given the same twenty-four hours in a day. Yes, we can get caught up in life and get busy. The short moments that we have when spent doing the simple but meaningful things with others like reading a book to a four-year-old, playing with a handful of small toys with a one year old or hiking with a group of teenagers. It is not the monetary value but the value of time that touches the heart. Give of your time! "Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them.” -Richard L. Evans

Give of the heart and be as Christ for he could have given to others all that money could buy but he gave instead the gift most valuable of his heart. Make Christmas and every day of our lives a Christ centered event. God is great and loves all of his children. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have ever lasting life.” John 3:16

Smile friend’s life is worth living!

Let me take a few moments to outline a short look at some of my life. Like many I could say I “was born of goodly parents”. Somewhere along the path of life I stumbled a few times and found some addictive behaviors that also found me. Recovery from those times falling down is possible because I came to know and understand finally that God does in fact not hate me but loves me in spite of the flaws that I have. I have struggled a time or three with the darkness of soul to consider “Offing it”. So, I have an idea how much the Savior battled for me. As some people that know me a bit I have a liking for the musical sounds and feels of larger two wheeled scooting machines. Yes, some have come to know me on the adventures with packs and ropes sometimes referred to as “Death marches”. Yes, I do like music as well. As boring as it may sound I like to study history and geography. Not a math person so it is good I have people surrounding me good at it.  I am grateful for God’s love and mercy. Love of family and friends in spite of me being stubborn and an introvert and a half. Smile friend’s life is worth living!

OREOS!

OREOS!

Who would have thought it could possibly be about the Oreos?

While tripp’n the country with family we decided that the house needed checked on and my friend Mozie needed someone to fill him a bowl of food maybe some attention also. Of course, we made sure to stock the house with food etc. Being gone for a week and a half is a bit much to expect someone to look after the place by the Hollar. We asked our friend what kind of things needed to be added to the food stocking as we wanted there to be some things of the delicious nature for them. The only sure answer was Oreos and ice cream. I was expecting to be given a list of the usual things like pizza, soda, chips, and a bag or two of cereal. Keep in mind most peeps don’t want to put ya out with a list of crazy food items but I would want someone to feel welcome to take care of stuff and find food that looks good too. Having had peeps work for food in the past for me and me cook up some grilled items or meat loaf and thinking I somehow was being a cheap scape at that. Upon returning home I was trying to pay them for the helpful nature of things and was given the red light. I insisted that there must be some kind of fee for a job well done. We finally were able to agree on the remaining un-opened package of Oreos. I should add I have since purchased more of them and plan to give them to this friend too.

A small lesson to anyone know your worth. Granted a package of tasty treats may not be pricey but it allows someone to let you know that you are valued. Always except some treats you can always share them with someone else. People want you to know you are appreciated. Our value is not determined by the opinion of another. Oreos taste great!

Things don’t taste as they appear.

Things don’t taste as they appear.

                                       

Look at salt and sugar for example. They may appear to be the same but a short moment in the mouth and you can tell one from the other. We see something and without really knowing it we judge it to be what it appears to be and not always what it really is. Take a box of assorted chocolates they may all look very fine and truly edible. So ya bite in to one and discover that somehow the first look was wrong. Coverage of chocolate hides a lot. Some of those chocolates can be the best tasting Carmel sweets out there and others would be possibly something the dog drug home topped with chocolate. Keep this thought for a moment as I jump to another idea to tie to it.

So, for many years I spent leading young men as part of a calling for my church. Now many of the adventures we engaged in were crazy to put it on the well maybe safe side for you mother types that fear any activity. I will not name any one who was involved in the malarkey and shenanigans but many an adventure had its high lights with crazy moments. Now I would be the first to admit that I had some of the start of some of the fun like sledding down full mountains covered with snow to rappelling waterfalls, and cliff jumping into pools of water. With that being said there are twists in stories I’m certain by the time parents may get a word of it. I say that in sort of a disclaiming way as to the dangerous picture someone might get in there mind as to what may or may not have involved their young Johnny or Fred.

One day some years back a very out spoken parent just happens to catch me in the hallway of the church building and proceeds to enlighten me as to the idea that I was a rather bad influence on the youth of the area and therefore needed to change my ways. Mind you we had the week before been on one of those wild type adventures. As I was thus being lashed for my flaw of being way to adventuresome and unruly the thought hit me that maybe I should refer them and their concerns to the Bishop of the ward. Thinking it would end the situation quickly I said thanks for the concern and inched my way to the outside door and jetted to my car.

A few days later and the bishop being a friend and knowing me on more of a very personal level considering the talks we had been able to have many a time on a few of those activities and around a camp fire, talked with me about the situation. He had talked with the very concerned parent as to the nature of the need to change the leadership of the young men’s group of the church because of the bad influence I must surely be. The parent he said was questioned as to why I this bad person was even allowed to be near the youth. Truth came out the son had come house with some bruise from the last adventure. Now as to the way in which this must have happened was a mystery to me considering the young man had not seemed to disclose this at the time it happened or on us returning home. The Bishop and I got a good laugh considering the matter and how it could have been taken a different way as well with him knowing me very personally.

Many other posts would outline a different way in which I could be referred to as a bad influence. Had the parent possibly known the story of my life they very well would have had a different picture to add to the one they already had. Thus, to the statement of things do not always taste like they appear. We may seem to be so much different than people know what is under our covering. I could very well have done as some people and claimed to be offended but knowing the blind view that we have of many of the people we meet it would be pointless. The Bishop assured me that he was cool with things staying the same and that he didn’t think my rocky history was even something that they had a clue about. Some other point I should make is that we should be careful as to the way in which we state something to others because we never know to what way things come across to people. Yeppers, salt and sugar and assorted chocolates. Many a person may have thought of me a bad influence at some other time in life. Glad to be able to laugh at it now. Can we really see the difference in people or well we just aren’t sure? There are a fair number of people that we meet each day that we have no idea things about them personally.

 I add this too as an example. I was at a conference about teens nearing a year ago with my wife when someone we were talking with made mention of the idea of hopping some places or clubs. Him not knowing the nature of my past either. One of the by standers knowing me well enlightened the conversation about maybe it would not be good considering my past life experiences and it could be not good. The look on his face was one of oops. Skip a day and then we listen to a key note speaker about is death experience from a drug overdose and me talking with the speaker after and the person hearing our conversation of recovery and enlightenment. He tells me a few weeks later he wasn’t really sure what to say to me. It happens. I had to tell him all is good not everyone looks like what it seems or how we appear. So, it may not seem if you see someone dressed nice to find that they have things that don’t show underneath the layers of fine linen. A box of fine dipped chocolates. Remember sugar and salt.

Finding the place to be.

Finding the place to be.

Maps, compass, GPS, and maybe Google for directions and yet we can still get lost or even disoriented. Every day we find our way to the fridge, the car, and sometimes to our place of employment. We don’t often think how we get there or back but when we get lost we sure question why?

Recently we went on a trip to California among a few other stops. For the most part of the travel experience we had a really good idea where we were going. The three-ish hour drive to catch the plane went without a hitch. You know the loss of direction kind of hits you when you’re on a plane and it is surrounded by clouds and you can’t see much. I’m not a pilot but they for sure have to know something about flying without seeing land marks. To think if you’re on a plane and it is going four hundred plus miles per hour and you’re on there for two or so hours you could be in a bad way without good directions. You could end up some place a long way from your goal. For me it was somewhat shaky at times but all was great when we landed in Los Angeles. So, we made our way to the car rental via shuttle bus. Found a suitable car and off we go.

We thought we were on easy street until we realize the directions we had to get where we wanted were for the airport terminal. As my good wife explains it, we must have gone in a large circle with a few right turns. Now some of you can relate to this predicament for sure considering we are not in any way city folks. As us country liking peeps would say in the nice way. “We be in a bit of a pickle.” So, we parking lot hopped for a few yards to the Burger King on the corner. It was dark and we were by now on the edge of Hangery. Food helped and regrouping for some better direction of how to find our way to the 405 freeway. By now we had the street address for where we were and my daughter was attempting to enlighten the night with the GPS function of her phone. I had tried to use the app on my phone once at home and was still not sure I had it working right. With the daughter with the phone and some good directions from someone we talked to we found the freeway and eventually found our way to some friends place we have known for about two decades. So, ended our first day of travel (Wednesday).

Needing a sort of day with less crazy turns we ventured to a Museum that was easy to find for the most part. A short stop or two at the market and Wally-mart that were not too hard to find and not much out of the way. Shopping bags in California or the lack of them wow.  Only one wrong turn getting there but easy to turn around and find our way considering it was during the day this time. We spend the better part of the day wandering with awe at the Getty. A place filled with history, art, and gardens. The view from the hill top was great to see the expanse of the city. To some it may seem the scene of the same old and so what but to a country crazy soul it is something to behold. Leaves me no doubt as to why we got a bit turned around a bit some the night before. No problems getting back to our friends place this time.

Up early and trying to get going to the son’s wedding in the LDS temple. Gladly this time we had the address in the phone GPS and the daughter directing us as to where to go. Me I’m not driving. Me and driving in this crazy environment is not good for others in the car. So, I’m on the look for signs and blind spot crew. Back on to the freeway and hoping to find the traffic not too backed up. We are doing well and thinking we should maybe use the commuter lane but just about then we have a bunch of bikes fly past us and then a Corvette hops around us using the commuter lane as a passing lane. On second thought we are doing ok so never mind. With about fifteen miles to where we need to be we hope that everyone else is late so we can be close to ok on time. A few miles later and we notice the Vette is boxed in some and we pass it (probably one of the few times a small Versa does that). We finally get to the off ramp we need and are close to the time for this knot tying thing to be under way. As we are almost there we note a car that seems to be our friends in front of us. Mind you we left a good while ahead of them so this is crazy. Yep it is he took some back ways like a boss and made up the clock on it. Knowing where and how to skip some traffic is king in that town.  Good thing for good directions because there is no way to see even a large building like a temple from the freeway in that place. Thankfully the rest of the day went well getting to the restaurant for the lunch after and had some of our friends in the car with us to get back to their house. By now I have a pretty good idea how to get from the freeway to our friend’s place.

 Needless to say, the remainder of the last two days went a bit smoother finding the beach, light houses, and then retuning the car and getting to the airport. After an extremely bumpy ride back to Utah on the plane we wandered home by way of southern Utah first for an open house. I am glad that I have driven many a road in my days of living to find my way around my home state. There is a lot of highway between Provo and Cedar City and then back to Vernal.

Back to the Map Compass, GPS, and good directions. Thinking of life without some kind of guiding things would be a blind adventure. I think about some people of old that didn’t have a clue as to where or how to get some place. Story of a man named Lehi and the Liahona that gave his family direction. Then also those explores and pioneers that can westward with rough maps and compass on the directions of others. Having good people around you in your life is good to get through things that are tuff. Having key things to guide you are essential too finding your way also. Having the guidance of God, Prophets, scriptures, for maps and coordinates to keep us going in a good direction. I met a young man on this trip that had traveled many a road on the edge. He came in contact with some great people that helped him find direction and purpose. He may have had a few tumbles along the path of life but he knows who he is, why he is on this earth and that there is God and others to help him. We all often fall but we can keep going when we follow good directions. There have been a few times in my life that I got a bit off course but glad I found my way back to a straight and narrow path with a rod of iron to hold too.

More than the world sees.

Many of you have known me for years very well. Others maybe not so deeply. Anyhow. I have for many years battled the likes of some invisible demons in my body. Yes, many would not have had the clue with the let’s do this outdoor crazy thing I would do but that is the look from the outside of the box. True we spent lots of time on adventures of great proportions that scared the likes of many. Plus, the many trips with youth groups that are wild. Crazy hiking adventures with a rope or two to make it interesting and add to the challenge. Pack trips to the wondrous places some people place on their bucket lists.

About age thirty-eight I started to notice that it took longer to recover from some of the crazy. Noticing the painful mornings came with a few years later. I brushed it off as just being wimpy and told myself to rub some dirt in it and suck it up (to barrow from my daughter). Finding limbs of the body going numb was not something I could just let go and let life happen. By mid-forties even some medical help was scratching their heads as to the things happening. I started to feel as though I was now Ralph the king of the lab rats. I had been tested for things from A to Z with not a lot of confirmation as to a link. I do now have some ideas and a few doctors noted items.

I have in the past ten years learned a lot about me and how to get around the fun of life with chronic illness. I tried many a doctor prescript and more cockamamie things that seem off the wall. I still get people trying to cure me now and then. Some have even told me I should try some of the cockamamie things I already did. Needless to say, I know what works for me to drag my Kester out of bed and at the very least find my way to the fridge. I do like food still which is cool. Don’t take away my dark chocolate! I have chilled out a lot from the grand adventures too.

Many of the world didn’t see me on those days after a grand adventure unable to move or want to see the brightness of the sun because of a pounding head and numb body. People often tell me the same old phrase “But you don’t look sick”. Some of you may understand that but for those that don’t look at the “Spoon theory” (link below).  It explains things in a very plain way that is easy to understand. Please no sorry stuff just be careful as you see people out in the world some have a dragon they are battling on the inside. Some days I feel better than others but it is all the good natural food and vitamins showing. So, if by some chance I put you off for something I may have had a full plate and didn’t have a side dish to fill up.

Life hands us things maybe not so much for us to be punished but to learn some lessons. I have learned to be patience with others and know that life hands us challenges to have empathy for others. As I’m writing this ironically the song “Patience” by Guns and Roses plays on my internet radio station. I don’t wish the joys of living with pain on anyone no matter who they maybe. For those of you who may have a one year old kid I feel for ya also. Watching my grandson is a challenge but so worth it. Those times I went on those crazy hikes with my family and friends was worth the days of recovery from it by far. Live life, Love, laugh for we know not how tomorrow will turn out. Hug your friends and family. Remember God is at the helm and we are only here for a short time.

Link: The Spoon Theory

https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/