Was it coincidence or a divine
intervention.
Years have come and gone from some
dark times and much has changed for me. Today is a marking of time that changed
where I was to where I am. I had lots of thoughts during that dark time that
many a person can relate too. I wanted to change, I wanted to die, I wanted to
live, I wanted to be happy, I wanted understanding, I wanted help, I wanted to
be left alone, I wanted acceptance, I wanted to believe in a higher power, and
many more.
Of all the places I so wanted to be
in my life it was to be in a good place in my mind. Some would tell me “well
you have been in tons of places.” That is true physically I have been lots of
places. But at a time of darkness I wasn’t mentally, emotionally, and
spiritually balanced in my life. Being in some of the most breathtaking places
in the world is very meaningless when your soul is at war with itself.
Being fully directed in life
doesn’t come solely by the instruction and direction of people, but by having a
deep connection with a power greater than man or this world. Great instructions
by others around us can point us to that source of power, but the connection is
up to us to make happen. So hence there is no chemical or physical solution to
a spiritual problem. That connection has been an intrical part of my change of
heart and soul.
Those days I thought to end it,
something came to stop me. Was it coincidence
or a divine intervention of sorts? Some may bat that one around some, but for
me I know. Was it because there was more for me and my life that needed to be
written? Was it to help me or some other person to crawl out of a dark hole of despair
and pain? Either way a lot has happened in those years. I can say with all my
soul there is a strong power in darkness, but the power of things in the light
is greater by trillions.
I think each year as I reflect
today about the struggle of a man named Alma. He struggled with the darkness of
soul, and came to grasp the light and comfort of that power of light in his
change of mind and soul. If his life can be changed, then there must be some
hope in a world trying to persuade us to have no faith in a power of light
greater than all. Alma’s words “I racked, even with the pains of a damned
soul”. He was racked as some of us have been or are yet until his mind caught
hold of the name of the King of light. His problem was a spiritual one too.
I have come to know many a person
who have found this light in their lives. We all may have a slight difference
of our practice of worship of this King of power and light, but we know of his
grace, love, understanding, and power. For he walked that path in darkness as
he prepared to cross from this life to the next. The dark one does his best to
push doubt in our minds as to the love of the King of light because we feel we
can’t be worthy of his love. In spite of our flaws of character, weaknesses,
and down falls he is forgiving of us. We are human and stumble as we live our
imperfect lives the best we can.
I have traveled many a steep path
on adventures with places of high grander and places of splendor and peace.
Being in those places with a soul filled with light, understanding, and peace
has been an enlightenment of greatness that there is a powerful God or Higher
power that is with us. There are a few other places with the same peacefulness
and sacred reverence.
For someone that may be struggling
with your soul take hope you not alone. For those that have struggled and found
hope to change, congratulations on your change. Do not put that “period” in
your life keep it open to more for there is more unwritten. Use every day as a “semicolon”
and add a new page, a new chapter, and a new book to your series of life each
and every day. Add in the story adventures with good friends, family, and new
faces you meet along the way. Connect with that power of greater light that
your life maybe enhanced and filled with understanding. Share with others hope
and love that they are not alone. The real prize for the fight of sobriety and serenity,
is waking up not in jail, institutionalized, or planted in the grave and remembering
that our lives are good. We have not failed if we but keep trying to succeed. Live
laugh love!
